2nd Year Arts Student Ronan Greene has fallen on hard times. Constantly drinking and refusing to get a job has put a considerable strain on his pocket. Rather than cutting back on necessities such as cans and rollies, Ronan decided to stop buying food.
“I was being boujee – plain and simple.” Ronan told the Express, “I can’t believe I was wasting my money on things like, bread and milk… I even bought Vegetables the last the day! Fucking Asparagus? Who did I think I was? A Kardashian?”
Ronan, in a bid to save money, began to watch YouTube videos, rather than eat. “I can watch people eat 300 dollar Taco’s or make sushi out of Grapes. It’s incredible, why would I even need to eat?”
Since starting the diet, Ronan has saved hundreds of euros a month, and lost so much body mass he looks like a skeleton wrapped in used rollie skins.
“I feel great,” Ronan whispered through his now collapsed windpipe, as he watches his fiftieth Bon Appetit video, “Clare is making gourmet Kit Kats today.” Tears roll down Ronan’s hollow cheeks as he speaks. Ronan looks fucking great though.