After breaking up with your bea, there is a lot of temptation to cry, eat yourself into a coma and go to Havana’s with no underpants on, but there is a better way. Following many of her celebrity Idols, Marie Keene, currently in the third year of her Politics degree has gotten a ‘Revenge Body’ as a way of coping with her breakup.
The ‘Revenge body’ is the concept of becoming unreasonably fit in order to be seen as desirable to the person that dumped you, therefore still needing their validation. A completely healthy way of letting go of your Ex.
Marie cites inspirations such as Khloe Kardashian and Cheryl Cole for giving her the idea.
“They were so inspirational to me. But I feel they didn’t go far enough,” Marie told us in a recent interview, “They were just getting a nice arse or losing a few stone. I wanted a real revenge body.” Marie, who now stands at over 6 foot, weighs one hundred and fifty kilos and has biceps that could crush an Alsatian.
“That prick Sean will be sorry now,” Marie said while guzzling her usual lunch of whey protein, raw eggs, two steaks and, of course, Mooju, “I’m going to break his arms. Then his legs. Scrawny little shite.”
When asked about her training, Marie insisted it was easy, that anyone could and should follow it; “It’s just about discipline really. Just think of that smug bastard shifting some bitch in town and don’t stop. As for training its not too strenuous; a lot of pull ups, dead lifts, cardio… Oh, and a fuck load of steroids.”
Marie accidently smashed the door frame with her powerful shoulders as she left the Express offices on her mission of revenge.
We wish here the best of luck.