As the year begins it can be daunting to decide which Club or Society is for you. University Express is here to guide you through Clubs & Socs new and old, to help you decide which one to sacrifice your free time to.
UCC LEFT SOCIETY- Are you a special snowflake who needs a safe space to whine about everything? Think communism needs a comeback? Well UCC Left society might just be for you!
– Joke policing
-Screeching at pictures of Trump.
-Believing everything Huff Post tweets.
Spitting at Cis White Males.
UCC RIGHT SOCIETY- Hate immigrants? Afraid of change? Think Fascism needs a comeback? UCC Right Soc will welcome you with open arms, unless you’re a minority.
– Witch hunts.
-Being as offensive as possible.
-Wanking to pictures of Trump.
-Only eating meat.
-Believing everything Alex Jones tweets.
UCC SOBER SOCIETY- Think it’s time to shirk the age old international stereotype of the drunken Irish? Want to break the generational cycle of binge drinking and don’t care about your peers judging you? Why not Join Sober Soc?
– Drinking Heineken 0.0%, you big pussy.
-Ah you’ll have one drink surely.
-Don’t be a dry shite, have a drink.
ULTIMATE FRISBEE CLUB- I have no idea what this is but it sounds hilarious.
– adding flames and go faster stripes to your frisbee to make them more ‘ultimate’.
UCC CYCLING CLUB- Are you an absolute wanker who loves to feel the wind on their face and lycra on their gooch? Then Cycling club is for you!
– Ignoring all rules of the road.
-Chatting on dangerous bends.
-Showing the whole world your balls through your skin-tight shorts.
UCC FLAT EARTH SOCIETY- Wake up sheeple! You’re living a spherical lie!
– Being 100% woke.
UCC FILM SOC- They need a tech wizard to work putlocker without downloading all the viruses.
UCC MUSIC SOC- I give this society a decent to strong 7. Go join.
THE UNIVERSITY EXPRESS- Please come and write for the humour section. It’s only September and I’ve already ran out of ideas.