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Telltale Signs She’s Only Dating You for Your Dog

It’s a scientifically proven fact that generally, girls are more attracted to people with dogs. Owning a dog says a lot of about you, your personality, and your potential as a romantic partner. Being a dog owner gives a girl every indication that you’re friendly, responsible and even mildly athletic, if you take into account all that walking. In a recent study conducted by researchers at Stanford University, a majority of women aged between 18-28 were said to consider men who owned dogs ‘less likely to be psychopaths, hopefully’, and people who used their pooches to pull either via strategic Tinder photos or IRL interactions were seen to be nearly seventy percent more successful in securing dates than those who utilised children or babies (allegedly, the same Stanford researchers are now hoping to study exactly what went wrong during our evolutionary process to make our species so much fonder of canine children than their human counterparts). No matter who you are, regardless of age, looks or even personality, it’s clear that becoming a pupper parent does wonders for your love life. There comes a point, however, when you get that sneaking suspicion that she’s more interested in Fido’s latest trick from obedience class than she is in listening to you recount the emotional ramifications of your parents’ divorce in your early childhood for the fiftieth time, and finally, you must ask yourself: “is she just dating me for my doggo?

  1. She’s more interested in receiving doggo pics than dick pics.

 

Are your unsolicited dick pics not receiving the attention you had hoped for? Are they met with a reply of: ‘that’s nice, is that your dog in the background? :)’ Then yes, she just might be with you for your canine companion. Similar signs include a preference for Crufts and Chill over the Netflix variety.

  1. She only ever tags you in doggo memes.

In the modern age, it’s common knowledge that the foundation of any strong relationship is frequently tagging your significant other in memes. Your average couple strikes a healthy balance between classic memes, political memes, wholesome memes, doggo memes and some miscellaneous memes to you know, to keep things spicy. Ask yourself: does your girl tag you in a disproportionate amount of doggo memes? If yes, it’s clear that your hunny is doing some heavy hinting that she’s only in this relationship for one h*ckin cute dude, and it isn’t you.

  1. She insists that all dates must be dog-friendly.

Do most of your dates take place in canine-friendly locations, like the dog park? Is your S.O. bored by any activities that don’t involve opportunities to play tug-of-war with your pupper? Again, this is a telltale sign that she’s just not that into you. Sorry, son.