Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – The stars’ misty glare reveals a bright future for you…wait, no, it turns out that the o-zone gets so weak that the future is bright for everyone. Bummer. Lucky cream of the week: sunscreen, and a lot of it. Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – Frankly I’m…
Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – You will try to teach yourself the words to a Hanson song ‘As Gaeilge’ but there being no translation for ‘Mmmbop’ will be your downfall. Lucky band of the week: Nirvana. Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – No matter how good the deals are, no matter how…
Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – Despite what other horoscopes will tell you, now is not a good time to learn the banjo. Just…just trust me. It’s not a good look for you (or sound for us). Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – You will find yourself broke before the end of the…
Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – A small man will challenge you to a fight outside Reardens. You only have a large trout at hand for some reason. Don’t worry, though you lose the fight, you win the war. Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – You will come into great riches this week,…