Have you been forcefully prised away from your significant other? Do you miss arguing over who snores the loudest? Would you often find yourself lamenting the times you didn’t appreciate all the times they wouldn’t shut up talking when you were dying from a hangover? Do you hate seeing everyone else tweeting ‘#longdistancesucks’ because their…
My Grandmother lived in a village on the most western tip of Donegal. She died there too. This village is in the back-arse of the back-arse of nowhere. The sheep outnumber the people and are ready to launch a coup at any minute. It took my family seven hours to reach Donegal, and another two…
A local waitress has been arrested in relation to the murder of five different people in the space of five minutes, Gardaí have confirmed today. Orla Egan, 19, had worked as a waitress in a city centre café for nearly a year when she suddenly turned upon a group of people who were in the…
County Leitrim is renowned for its lack of offensiveness, and the fact that it is a thing that exists… or does it? Conspiracy theorists have today claimed that our favourite easily-forgettable Connacht county may not be the sheep haven that we always knew it to be. Controversial evidence suggests that in the late 1800’s, county…
This week, I sat down with South Dublin-based social media influencer Bianca Bourgeois. Cascading onto the lifestyle/beauty scene in early 2016, Bourgeois’ seemingly instantaneous rise to fame and swift garnering of a 400k following on YouTube (980k on Instagram) seems to be a commendable feat. Destined to prove that her success has been a product…
The atmosphere is tense tonight in apartment 63 of Castlewhite after what should have been a standard Thursday night out turned into a nightmare from which no one could escape. Sean Eagen and Robert O’Conner had been best friends since birth, and even before birth, that’s how fucking tight these lads are. Sat beside each…
Christmas exam results were released last week, and while many students were hoping for high grades, or at very least a pass, one man couldn’t care less. Michael Leary, a first-year arts student, failed all of his subjects, but failed one more spectacularly than the others; Mr. Leary somehow secured minus 10%, making him the…
The term ‘doing bits’, the preferred term to describe the doing of inane and generally uninteresting activities, has been banned. This ban comes as a result of widespread irritation across Ireland, with many old fogies and bitter youths with nothing better to aim their inexplicable ever-burning angst at reporting sky-rocketing stress levels whenever ‘bits’ are…
An international student has been voted Best Dressed at their 9am lecture. Hana Amori, 20, from the Doshisha University in Kyoto, received the award after showing up to her early morning Psychology lecture in a designer skirt, a ‘nice top’ and heeled boots- all after a full night of drinking and everything. Amori was even…
Has your generosity known no bounds this RAG Week? Have you already gone over budget? Have you already experienced that sinking feeling of dismay when you check your account and it flashes 0.00? Would you like to know how you can reap some of what you have sown and receive generously? Would you like me…