Break-ups are tough. They’re even worse when your significant other just ups and leaves with no explanation, as is the case with the increasingly popular method of ghosting or, with cats. Notorious for their independent, selfish ways, love them or hate them, cats give a special type of affection. I’d compare them to fuckboys, but…
I’m no psychologist, but I did accidentally walk into a psychology lecture during freshers week so you know what? I am a psychologist (take that Freud, you dirty old perv) and today I will be speaking to you all about my stunning new theory. It’s one that I’m sure will make waves in the community,…
First Year Arts student and all round ‘gas cunt’ Sorcha McNally is set to become this year’s winner for Biggest Legend due to her astounding commitment to wearing her festival wristband past the point of being socially acceptable. In an exclusive interview with the Express, McNally revealed that she plans to keep her now mildly…
Along with the semester starting to settle its way into a steady routine for most students, one of the most important occasions of the year comes around once again. The annual ‘Fresher Grabbing’ festival, which I have just now been informed has never actually been called that, and apparently isn’t the correct collective name for…
Met Éireann have issued a warning that UCC and its surrounding area are in for another year-long downpour of terrible, terrible jokes. This news comes as a result of the return of last year’s Humour editor, who will remain anonymous, except for where her name is printed in big, fuck-off letters at the top of…
Coming to college can be a hard transition when you’re used the rigmarole of secondary school. Hell, it can be hard for people coming back to college to get right off their Summertime bullshit and back into the routine you need to succeed in university. So while you totally definitely should do things on time,…
Recently I found myself at the end of a relationship. Cue Spotify break-up playlist on repeat, junk food, ugly sobbing and Netflix binge watching sessions in your pjs. It feels like the world as you know it is coming to an end and this is how you plan to spend your final days. Post break…
Tanya Kearney strides into the lobby of The Shelbourne Hotel, clearly alight with all the confidence and prestige that becoming an almost overnight op-ed sensation brings. She greets me, and immediately I witness the quick, impulsive opinion-offering on which she has built her wildly successful career. “Opinion: lose the coat,” she tells me. I thank…
Two Mountjoy prisoners have made history as winners of the Amnesty International/SVP Jailbreak 2017. The winners, John Fitzpatrick (27, convicted of fraud in 2012) and Tom McDermott (29, convicted of armed robbery in 2014), say that they are “over the moon” with their victory. The two managed to reach Location X, which was revealed to…
Buddhist monks in Sri Lanka have allegedly confirmed Buckfast Tonic Wine to play a key role in reaching Nirvana. This was reported by the Dalai Lama, who said that a group of monks in the Na Uyana Aranya monastery had been experimenting with some imported Buckfast and recently found its properties and ingredients to be…