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Tag: horoscopes with Mystic Greg

Horoscopes With Mystic Greg – Issue Nine

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes
Posted on February 18, 2018February 11, 2018

Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – Your RAG Week will take a turn when you try one of those keg stands you see in all those American frat movies. You do not have enough upper-body strength to manage it. Happy concussion! Lucky charity of the week: Headway Ireland. Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th)…

Horoscopes with Mystic Greg – Issue 8

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes
Posted on February 4, 2018January 28, 2018

Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – The stars’ misty glare reveals a bright future for you…wait, no, it turns out that the o-zone gets so weak that the future is bright for everyone. Bummer. Lucky cream of the week: sunscreen, and a lot of it. Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – Frankly I’m…

Horoscopes With Mystic Greg – Issue Six

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes Humour
Posted on November 26, 2017November 19, 2017

Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – Despite setting a hard-and-fast limit of €10 on the Secret Santa, your person is going to spend waaaaaay more money on your gift than you did theirs. Lucky emotion combo of the week: Remorse and incredible anger. Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – Look, no matter how…

Horoscopes With Mystic Greg – Issue Five

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes
Posted on November 12, 2017November 7, 2017

Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – You will try to teach yourself the words to a Hanson song ‘As Gaeilge’ but there being no translation for ‘Mmmbop’ will be your downfall. Lucky band of the week: Nirvana. Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – No matter how good the deals are, no matter how…

Horoscopes With Mystic Greg – Issue Four

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes
Posted on October 29, 2017October 23, 2017

Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – Despite what other horoscopes will tell you, now is not a good time to learn the banjo. Just…just trust me. It’s not a good look for you (or sound for us). Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – You will find yourself broke before the end of the…

Horoscopes With Medium Phil – 15th October

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes
Posted on October 15, 2017October 8, 2017

Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – A small man will challenge you to a fight outside Reardens. You only have a large trout at hand for some reason. Don’t worry, though you lose the fight, you win the war. Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – You will come into great riches this week,…

Horoscopes with Mystic Greg (Issue 1)

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes
Posted on September 17, 2017September 17, 2017

Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – Welcome (back) to UCC! The stars have a lot in store for you this year, maybe, if you survive freshers week that is… lucky weird UCC legend of the week: the mummy Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – Welcome (back) to UCC! The socially acceptable amount of…

Horoscopes with Medium Phil – 28th of March

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes
Posted on March 28, 2017March 26, 2017

Aries (Mar. 21st – Apr. 19th) – You cross my palm with silver, and I see that there are… giant floppy dicks in your near future. Lucky cocktail of items: Lube and viagra.   Taurus (Apr. 20th – May 20th) – You cross my palms with silver, and I see that there are… many leeches…

Horoscopes With Mystic Greg (March 14th)

By Mystic Greg   Posted in Horoscopes
Posted on March 14, 2017March 13, 2017

Aries (Mar. 21st – Apr. 19th) – The stars wish to ask you “what’s cooler than being cool?” They said “ICE COL-” Lucky lawsuit of the week: Copyright infringement.   Taurus (Apr. 20th – May 20th) – It’s ball season, so remember, you may be able to hide your sneaky naggin, but you’ll never be…

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