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Sober Guy in Nightclub Assures Friends He’s Having Fun

Seán Power (20), a sober guy in a local nightclub, spent much of Tuesday night assuring his drunk friends that he was indeed having a nice time, according to reports.

The Marketing student has revealed that he was simply “feeling it” at pre-drinks, whereas most of his friends were “pure gone” by the time they headed into Cork City at approximately 11PM. By the time the group headed to a popular nightclub two hours later, Mr. Power was fully sober, but made sure his friends knew that he was still having a nice time.

“I love swaying awkwardly in the corner while the lads are out on the dancefloor. It’s great craic,” he insisted, a single tear glistening in the corner of his eye.

According to witnesses, Seán was seen dancing self-consciously among a group of acquaintances at least twice throughout the night, with some describing him as looking “like a sad plank of wood”. Others observed that “he was smiling, but not with his heart”. Throughout all of this, Mr. Power was heard repeating the phrase “no, I’m grand. This is great craic. It’s grand. It’s great craic.”

When contacted for a statement, Seán continued to insist that he loves going to nightclubs, even while sober.

“It’s not at all uncomfortable,” he stated forcefully. “I enjoy being able to fully experience being pushed around by people who can’t dance as well as they think they can, and waiting at the bar for twenty minutes before being served watered-down drinks. And, y’know, with all the people getting the shift and, like, groping each other, it’s a bit like a modern-day romcom. I wasn’t a bit self-conscious or uncomfortable. I was having fun. It was great craic. It was…” he paused as his voice broke, “… it was just great craic.”

Mr. Power continued to reassure his friends that he was having fun as they headed to a nearby chipper at closing time, and then insisted on continuing the party at the apartment of another group that they had become acquainted with while intoxicated. According to a reliable source, Seán was heard responding with “I’m totally comfortable with that, this is all great craic, and all I want is for you all to accept me.”

“Banter,” he added, with a quiet sob.