Hundreds of males were astonished today by a “rare sighting” of a female who actually listened to the band whose t-shirt she wore.
The female, reported by enthusiasts and your mcm alike to be “extremely endangered”, was spotted this morning outside Boole 4 wearing a t-shirt for band ‘The Strokes’. She was immediately sprang upon by head ‘Poser Spotter’ Dave Keohane, who enquired as to whether she “really liked the band”.
“I had seen her around campus a few times before, mostly just checking her out to be honest – she’s pretty hot like,” Mr.Keohane said in his statement, “but after a while I started to notice that she was wearing like, band t-shirts. I love The Strokes so, naturally, I felt it was my moral duty to check that this girl actually like these bands she’s listening to. Fake hoes everywhere, man, you get it.”
The girl, (allegedly named Alison McCarthy, not that we bothered to ask) was identified by Mr. Keohane to have real potential to be a “cool girl” after successfully answering who the band’s rhythm guitarist was and naming five of her favourite tunes (that weren’t just the hits). Just to be sure, however, reinforcements were brought in. Ms.McCarthy was soon descended upon by dozens of flannel-clad lads, all asking if she’d listened to their latest mix on SoundCloud.
Over the thunderous sound of Doc Martens and mansplaining, the exotic female had this to say:
“I swear to God I am burning this fucking shirt.”
Other girls and non-assholes in general were quick to assist Ms.McCarthy in escaping the situation. “No woman should ever be subjected to that many pube-beards at once” said fellow female, Lauren Daly. “If we didn’t get her out soon, they might’ve started trying to tell her about their opinions on some VICE documentaries they’d watched recently, and that kind of trauma can take years to recover from.”
Thankfully, Alison is now reported to be safe at home, though she says that for the time being, she will only be wearing her beloved Strokes t-shirt as pyjamas.