A study published yesterday from UCC has revealed the health benefits of Vaping versus smoking. The study, sponsored by Sickcool Vapez ltd, was conclusive in its findings, not only is Vaping better than smoking, it’s actually better than fresh air.
Ian Horrigan, a PhD student responsible for the study explained the results, in between bouts of coughing, “We compared the lung capacity of someone smoking manky cigarettes and someone using a Sickcool Vapez Vapetron-700 for a month, and the results were astounding. The subject smoking cigarettes spontaneously combusted as his lungs turned to ash. The vaping subject’s health, however, actually improved. We also had a control subject who neither smoked nor vaped, when we realised the vaping subject was actually healthier we were intrigued.”
The team continued their research in to Vaping finding it improved all areas of the subject’s health. “One subjects lung capacity increased to the levels of an Olympic athlete,” Ian explained, “By the end of the test she could stay underwater for nearly an hour, all thanks to Sickcool Vapez! The flavours too, had unforeseen health benefits. Fruit flavoured Vapes, such as ‘Blueberry Bukkake’ and ‘Kiwi Kamikaze’, are actually part of your 5 a day now! It’s incredible!”
Vaping it seems, not only has health benefits, but social ones too. “Men who vape were seen to be 69% more attractive than those who don’t, “Ian said in between puffs of his vape, looking positively dashing, “The surveys found that women identified men who could rip fat clouds as more alpha than those who couldn’t.”
When we asked for the results of this study, Ian disappeared behind an obnoxiously large cloud of ‘Orange Orgy’ smoke. Despite his hasty exit, Ian’s results speak for themselves; Vaping’s health benefits are universal.
This article was sponsored by Sickcool Vapez.