We’ve long known Enda Kenny is a snake, but recently experts have claimed that there is newfound evidence suggesting that An Taoiseach may, in fact, be part of the alien super-race: the Reptilians.
This evidence comes in light of the Taoiseach congratulating Donald J. Trump on his winning of the U.S Presidential Election last Wednesday. In his statement, Kenny congratulated Trump and said he believed that relations between the U.S and Ireland “would continue to prosper.” Upon saying this, Minister Leo Varadkar allegedly noticed that the Taoiseach began to blink sideways as his pupils seemed to become slitted & reptile-like, before quickly changing back to their original form.
This event is said to be Kenny’s way of secretly communicating with his fellow Reptilian counterpart, Trump, that the beginnings of the alien race’s global dictatorship is well underway. The Reptilians’ desire for world domination has long been known, and President Trump’s election is a sure result of Reptilian interference with global politics in order to achieve this goal. I mean, how else could an openly racist, [alleged] sexual predator rise to one of the most powerful positions in the world?
Theories about Kenny’s Reptilian identity have been circulating for quite some time now; his callous, dismissive attitude & opinions towards topics such as women’s bodily autonomy and civil servants having fair wages being dead giveaways. In a 2015 statement, An Taoiseach declared that he didn’t believe in “abortion on demand;” Reptilians commonly have more of an affinity with technology than with people, which explains why the Taoiseach refers to the choice to undergo a difficult medical procedure as though it is something similar to choosing a show to watch on your Sky+ box.
These days there are an increasing number of reports of celebrities and politicians alike being ‘outed’ as members of the Reptilian super race. It’s scary to think we are so surrounded by these fearsome creatures, but, in a world where we may be soon enslaved, there is comfort to be found: with members of the Reptilians allegedly including celebs like Beyoncé, Jay-Z and Kanye West, hopefully Enda knows that not only is he a shit politician, but he’s probably one of the shittest members the Reptilians have got too.