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home Byline, Humour Middle-class Couple Expecting First Sourdough Starter

Middle-class Couple Expecting First Sourdough Starter

By Sarah Ryan   Posted in Byline Humour
Posted on September 24, 2018October 5, 2018

A young Blackrock couple are eagerly awaiting the arrival of their first sourdough starter.

Louise and Mark O’Gorman, both 28, say they simply cannot wait for the arrival of their yeasty addition.

“I’ve always wanted to have some bread to call my own,” says Louise. “Ever since I heard our other smug couple friends bragging about making their own kombucha, it’s really been a dream of mine.”

The couple, both young professionals in jobs that they find generally unfulfilling, say the idea began after one too many Marks & Spencer’s Dine-In Deals.

“Honestly, I thought, if its posh, expensive, and made with one at least sort of seasonable vegetable, it’s got to be healthy. Turns out, it still makes you fat.” reflects Mark, gesturing to his veritable dad bod. “I didn’t even know wine had calories,” adds Louise. “I mean, is nothing sacred anymore? If that Australian shiraz is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.”

It seems today that many young couples are opting out of the traditional ideals of marriage, houses and children as statements of love for one another. When asked, “why sourdough?”, the O’Gormans say the answer is simple; both being commitment-phobes, children or even just a dog, were out of the question. “I mean, they’re just so… dirty. The children more than the dogs”, reveals Mark. At the suggestion of a house, the two erupt into delirious, almost hysterical laughter – a strangely common reaction for two successful young people contemplating years of moving back in with parents and innumerable ham sandwiches. “No matter how much of my income I save, let’s face it, it probably won’t be enough. I’d prefer to spend it on fancy bread, if I’m honest.”

On the subject of the work that must be put into a successful sourdough – regular feedings, float tests, etc. the O’Gormans say they are ready for it all. “I’m so looking forward to taking this journey with someone I love. And yeah, it’s definitely a better alternative to ham sandwiches with my parents.”

We wish them the very best of luck.

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