Mystic Greg is ill today, so we’ve gotten a random intern of the cosmos to fill in. Yes, she is a cat.
Aries (Mar 21st – Apr 19th) – O(+iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii +++++++++++++++============================ [Translation: I know I just ate, but milk is delicious, I demand more milk]
Taurus (Apr 20th – May 20th) – ======================== , ¬14o\awa qw l,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo loo [Translation: meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow]
Gemini (May 21st – June 21st) – yggggwqgfb’/pufdhsyyyyyyyyyy. [Translation: Now you I like, you once gave me some real good butt pats. You may live]
Cancer (June 22nd – July 21st) – jdwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww’poiibt77b nm-
ijdhugqvwe. [Translation: jdwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww’poiibt77b nm- ijdhugqvwe]
Leo (July 22nd – Aug 21st) – koijshgdatfou7 tewfp=[;[lkdjh8
5dqgfrwtrye 8ru3y7pppppppppppppppppppppppp. [Translation: I could be the king of the jungle too if I wanted, jerk]
Virgo (Aug 22nd – Sept 22nd) – shdaa;u o0m-21=–smjsbbsn
]dddi9wqu8dhwg. [Translation: you will meet with an unfortunate end when you cross my path, human]
Libra (Sept 23rd – Oct 22nd) – qwdhugu86r2e97=pknlbvtsrdy21u09. [Translation: Pat my head yesssssss wait no….yesssssssssss-NO!….yessssssss]
Scorpio (Oct 23rd – Nov 21st) – lpkoiu8y7e vxju08hushuxmwql;wqndbyg-221217vd ddlnnwdq [Translation: I will nap here. Oh, that’s inconvenient for you? Well how about I just nap here anyway]
Sagittarius (Nov 22nd – Dec 21st) – mnjhgfsds90[ojs qhg———————09. [Translation: Thank you for buying a scratching post for me, human. How about I just ignore it forever, and sit in the box?]
Capricorn (Dec 22nd – Jan 20th) – lkjhgs wew424424679-oijhsugyyidoppppppp/’DBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB7TYSG. [Translation: You will begin work on your FYP, but I want to nap on your face, so better clear your schedule and forget that notion]
Aquarius (Jan 21st – Feb 19th) – kjhgHJLKJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJDHASIUWQ [Translation: You will meet a handsome stranger, who you will fall madly in love with. Go with him, you will find serenity].
Pisces (Feb 20th – Mar 20th) – kjhsgg02s,s;s’[qqqqqqqqqqqqqqkjh876refokaKzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz [Translation: the cat legit just fell asleep on the Z key]