Met Éireann have issued a warning that UCC and its surrounding area are in for another year-long downpour of terrible, terrible jokes. This news comes as a result of the return of last year’s Humour editor, who will remain anonymous, except for where her name is printed in big, fuck-off letters at the top of this section.
The downpour is expected to consist of the same limited content as last year, with said editor taking cheap shots at basically anyone from Kerry, Lads, Conor McGregor, a selection of members of Dáil Éireann and, in times of deep uninspired desperation, herself.
Staff and students have been urged to take the same precautions as last year when avoiding articles that are reportedly described by her Editor as “dry humour”. This content, however, is about as dry as a soggy biscuit, so students are advised to bring their raincoats. Other instructions include: do not get drawn in by the headlines. As with most satirical journalism, they’re probably the only good part anyway. Or, the option seemingly favoured by the majority of students, and the guy I’m currently sitting next to in Boole Basement , is just to skip this section altogether and go straight to the Sports pages. Prick.