Oh my god has getting this issue out been exhausting. If you don’t like me or my writing, this mightn’t be the issue for you, because I am fucking everywhere in this thing (even where you wouldn’t expect me to be). Pretty much every random problem that could happen, has happened: laptops have crashed, deadlines have been pushed back, broken Irish was attempted. I can’t speak for the rest of my staff, but I was as sick as a very ill dog for most of the editing process. Let me tell you friends, it’s not fun to look at computer monitor for hours on end when your eyes feel like they’re about to vibrate out of your skull. At one point I put my laptop in my bag and in the car so as not to forget it the next morning… when I woke up I was clutching the laptop in my bed. Editing is weird.
Did you know that an echidna has a four headed penis? Yeah, an echidna, it’s like this little spiny anteater with backwards hind legs. It digs a lot. Knuckles from the Sonic games is an echidna – I wonder if that factored into Sega’s decision. Kangaroos sometimes have a two-pronged willy, ducks have a corkscrew penis and cats have a spiky barb on their dicks. All that said, no one beats the echidna in the ‘weird dick Olympics’. Seriously, it looks like one of those quad canes you see old men in films put tennis balls on the end. Mad.
Anyway, enough about me (and echidnas). Welcome, or welcome back, to UCC. Whether you’re an impressionable Fresher or a jaded final year, there’s a hell of a year ahead of you. Right now you’re probably joining all the clubs and societies, going on the tear every night and maybe possibly attending some lectures. Okay, we’ll try to not to reinforce the stereotype of students as ‘lazy drunkards’ because God knows other media orgs will do that enough come Freshers & RAG Weeks. Seriously though, as hard as the work may be at times, don’t forget to take a moment to appreciate where you are, where you’ve come from, and where you have yet to go. Not everyone can go to University, and not everyone can go to a place as special as UCC. Congratulations on the hard work so far, and best of luck on the work to come. Be sure to mind yourself, and mind those around you. See you on the other side.