home Fashion, Features Discussion: Dress Codes, Topic: Boobs

Discussion: Dress Codes, Topic: Boobs

Disclaimer: This article may, at times if not throughout, come across like a bit of a rant, I am aware. I do not, however, apologise for this as I feel like I am not the only one that is affected in some way by this and that it is an important thing to think about and consider. Not necessarily a crucial and urgently-needs-solving issue, but most definitely a discussion topic worth bringing to mind. Even if all this does is say “hey girl, I totally get that, you are not alone in feeling that way” then, great, that’s all you want.

It is well known that the typical “college life” experience consists of a pretty major social life; going out, parties, events such as Freshers, RAG week, and so on. As well as the insane amount of alcohol consumption, the late nights and other sesh-related activates that may or may not be extremely damaging to one’s health, there are other difficulties that come part and parcel with this “college life” going-out lifestyle, and one I have been particularly tuned into of late is the fashion aspect; the dressing up to go out, or rather, the struggle to find clothes that not only fill the going-out dress code and criteria, but that also fit me nicely that I actually genuinely like and feel comfortable and good in.

Recently I have found myself struggling to find or come up with outfits to wear on nights out; as well as the difficulty of actually finding something, I feel torn between wearing what I want to wear, what I feel most comfortable in, and what I feel I should wear because of the very specific trends…trends that I feel have created some very particular criteria for what one can and cannot, should and should not, wear going out. I see the Boohoo and Pretty Little Thing ads and think, aw that would look amazing on my friend, *insert name*, or even *another friend*, but never on me. I feel as though the majority of clothes, at least the dressy night-out clothes, are tailored to fit only one particular build, and anything else just has to suck it up and make do with what they can find to suit them from the basics section of the website.

This is not a discussion on overall size necessarily, but rather one on a particular part of a woman’s body, but one that does come in many different shapes and sizes: boobs. (Now, here is where the slightly rant-y tone may begin to come through). There are a few sides to this argument: the two main ones being the girls with skittle tits that want bigger boobs, and the girls with big boobs that long to know what it might be like to have smaller, easier to dress and a lot less painful boobs.

As a girl on the bustier side of things (slight understatement, to be honest) I am going to put forward a few arguments against big breasts by highlighting some of the many struggles that us big boobed ladies face daily.

First things first, the pain. Yes, guys say that the pain of being kicked in the nuts is like no other, and I trust that, I really do, and I am not comparing as I have no way of knowing what that is like, but I do know what it is like to be hit/punched/banged off of in the boob/boobs and I can confirm that it is very fricking painful. Even a hug too tight can cause some pretty intense discomfort. Things get worse around that time of month too; they swell and become about 100 times more sensitive. If running in general was painful enough, you can forget about even brisk walking around that time…

This leads to the exercise problem. Do you know how expensive decent bras for big sizes are in general? Never mind special sports bras, and by special I simply mean ones that actually work. A decent sports bra that allows for running with minimal pain and no black eyes would usually cost between €40 and €60, excluding delivery (ordering online is the best option for bigger busts, especially if you’ve a big bust with a small back size).

As well as the difficulty of finding a decent sports bra, there’s the added difficulty of the actual exercise itself, which can be made that bit more awkward, difficult, and painful with bigger breasts. I would argue that push ups for us busty gals are a lot more difficult as we are carrying more weight, and also because there is about thismuch space between our boobs and the ground so y’know…

If there’s anything worse than sourcing a decent sports bra, it’s sourcing a decent swimsuit or bikini. It has gotten to the stage where I’ve been tempted to just wear a matching bra and underwear set. I mean, it covers the same and at least the bra and underwear actually fit well?

It is near to impossible to wear anything strapless, backless or anything that doesn’t have normally placed, thick-band straps. So, rule out spaghetti straps too, unless you’re ok with big thick bra straps making visible dents in your shoulders on show. I mean, you could invest crazy money in the ultimate strapless bra that claims to work wonders but 9.9 times out of 10 it just will not work, unless it actually has magical powers. It is just so heart-breaking to see the stunning backless dresses in debs photos or on the red carpets. Kiss goodbye the idea of showing off a little side boob, darling, cause it’s just never going to happen.

Everything, I mean everything, looks sexual. Even your basic v-neck everyday t-shirt or even a high-neck sweater top, somehow big busts manage to make almost everything look provocative. Too often I have had conversations with people, in most of these cases men, that just could not keep their eyes from drifting down… I have literally had to say out loud in a real life scenario “My eyes are up here”, and before I thought that a line like that could only ever really be a cringey movie line.

Never mind the sexualising of basic tops, button down shirts invariably result in awful looking gaps between the buttons around your boobs. Button down shirts have got to be tailored to perfection, unless you want them gaping at the bust or end up popping buttons. My work shirt had to be ordered online and cost me €64. Even still, I sometimes find the button just at the middle between my boobs has come undone and I’m left wondering how long I’ve been walking around the store and serving customers like that.

Bralettes? Beautiful, so pretty, stunning, amazing. Bralettes for girls with bigger boobs? Don’t exist, unfortunately. They may claim to, but it is a lie. Unless you’ve got your wire, thick straps and proper clasps to hold and support you, nothing less is going to work. So you can buy the pretty bralette about 6 sizes bigger and just wear it over one of your own bras. Not ideal, but it will have to do.

But it isn’t all bad, boobs are great! (Kind of… maybe… it’s a love/hate type relationship really, but more hate than love if I’m being honest). I am sure, in fact I know, that small boobs come with their struggles too, and I welcome any counter response to this, feel free to give me a shout! Bottom line is, we all want what we don’t have, and so we just got to make do with what we do have and be grateful. Doesn’t mean we can’t go on a little rant every once in awhile though…