There was widespread shock in the scientific community of Ireland today as the creature was discovered. The cryptid, long thought to be a myth, was found living in the sink of apartment 63 of Victoria Lodge. It appears the poisonous atmosphere of the sink was the perfect breeding ground for such a monster.
Brenda Courtney, the occupant of room 2, was the first to see the Creature, “So like, when I first saw it I thought it was just a bit of mould, maybe some raisins or something. The sink hasn’t been cleaned for nearly a month, so it was a fair assumption. But no, I was wrong. It was a mythological swamp monster. Mad stuff.”
With murky grey waters filled with old pasta, tuna juice and a cupboards worth of submerged cutlery, the sink is the ideal environment for the creature. His Trip Advisor reviews have been glowing, “Uninhabitable, and downright toxic. A real threat to human life. 5 stars”
How the sink got to this noxious level is still up for debate, as all occupants of the house say they are the “clean one”.
“I don’t cook here,” Connor, the occupant of room 3 told University Express, “I’ve started using a gas stove in my room and cleaning my crockery in the shower, I just can’t face that kitchen.”
Rachel, the last roommate was unavailable for comment as she is still in a critical condition in CUH, following an altercation with the creature. When Rachel bravely reached into the sink for a tea spoon, the creature, sensing an intruder, bit her hand off.
Connor is a biology student and has been researching the creature, though he has yet to come up with any concrete theories, “After an intensive investigation I feel I have discovered the source of the creature. I have theorised, that a piece of pasta, left adrift in the sinks grease trap for over a month has mutated to create the monster, thanks to the rest of the shit thrown on top of it. Whose pasta it was is still a mystery.”
After Victoria Lodge threatened to take the student’s deposit, along with their souls and first-born children for breaking the ‘no visitors’ rule, the roommates knew it was time to do something about the creature. But, surprisingly, they didn’t have to, as after watching, “The Shape of Water”, together one night, the creature, and Brenda, mysteriously disappeared.
“To be fair,” Connor conceded, “He’s still not as manky as half the lads she brings back from Havanas.”
The sink has yet to be cleaned.