Salads, the last great hill to conquer on being able to eat like an actual person, and not someone who gets their carbs in the form of fermented barley. I haven’t done this before, because mostly everything was out of season and would actually be a bit ‘eh’ but now that we’re hitting spring, and I can put fresh ingredients on this list without laughing to myself, I think it’s time to show you guys a tasty bit of green.
I’m going to give you the vegan version here, to commit to the healthy factor, and also because I have been informed by someone that I need to rep the vegans a bit more. I don’t really know about that, but if people actually have feelings on it I suppose I’ll go for it. If you don’t want this to be Vegan, just eat a block of cheese while you go (though that may not be in keeping with the ‘healthy’ vibe).
The recipe will be split into the basic salad I use and a couple of dressings. If you like croutons that’s cool, but I’m not a big fan.
Italian-ish salad. Or Insalata ‘Not Actually at all’ Caprese
Italy is just the culinary gift that keeps on giving.
Serves; If you eat an entire bowl of salad no one can judge you because it’s healthy. Even if it’s covered in mozzarella and dressing.
What you need.
A knife and Board.
Three forks. (Two of these are for using as tongs)
A big mug/Jug
A big bowl.
50g Of rocket.
50g Of Baby Spinach
50g Of Baby Tomatoes.
A half dozen sundried tomatoes.
Four/Six Leaves of fresh basil (Boom Boom).
Optional extra. Mozzarella! Fresh stuff is the way to go here.
- Wash everything that needs washing.
- Quarter your tomatoes. You want them in cute little wedges.
- Finely chop your Basil and Sundried tomatoes. (As fine as you can, sundried tomatoes can be a bugger to cut)
- Look at your spinach and rocket. Do the individual pieces look a bit big to you? Well give em a rough tear with your hands. I don’t like eating giant pieces of green, and while some people might start complaining about the structure of the salad being damaged, well… Fuck ‘em.
- Toss your rocket and spinach together. Then sort of sprinkle the tomato, basil and Mozzarella (If you’re using it) over the top. Add your dressing.
4 tablespoons of olive oil.
1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon of mustard, (Grainy is best, but that’s usually got honey in it, so the Lidl Dijon is a good shout instead)
Juice of half a Lemon
Salt & Pepper.
- Juice your lemon.
- Add all your ingredients together in a cup or something. Mix. Taste it and add a little salt and pepper to your liking.
- Drown that salad in it. Or elegantly toss it in it. Whatevs.
‘Super Awesome’ Creamy Dressing.
4 Tablespoons of yogurt.
1 Tablespoon of decent mayo
2 teaspoons of Pesto.
Juice of half a lemon.
A big sprig of fresh parsley.
Maybe a dash of Tabasco, if you like your dressing to pop.
- Juice that lemon. Finely chop your parsley.
- Toss everything except the parmesan into a jug like object you can mix in. Proceed to mix ingredients in said jug.
- Taste it. It’s pretty good? If it’s a bit too thick, add some more lemon, or a dash of olive oil. If you think it could be zingier, add some tabasco here.
- Drench the salad in it. Just pour it everywhere. Then proceed to grate shitloads of parmesan over the top. If you look at it and aren’t 100% convinced that you have enough parmesan, if you have one shred of doubt about the parmesan quantity, just keep grating those doubts away.
- High Five yourself because you’re eating a salad.
Pro Tip; You can get chopped pancetta in Tesco for a quid. If you desperately need some meat in your salad, that would be a good choice, fried up crispy, or even some chopped chorizo that’s been crisped up.