Christmas exam results were released last week, and while many students were hoping for high grades, or at very least, a pass, one man couldn’t care less. Michael Leary, a first-year arts student failed all of his subjects, but one more spectacularly than the others. Mr. Leary somehow secured minus 10%, making him the first…
The wildfires that have ravaged southern California this past week are finally under control, but the scale of the devastation is only beginning to be seen. The fire which destroyed nearly 10,000 homes and has spread across 233sq miles is already the deadliest American wildfire in a century. And there are fears that the eventual death toll…
The Unidentified Flying Object spotted over Kerry last week that baffled meteorologist and non- virgins alike, finally has an explanation. Early today in a prepared statement, the Healy Rae family took responsibility for the craft. “We’re very sorry for the fuss, honestly,” Michael Healy Rae told the gathered press, “Didn’t mean to scare anyone. The…
After years of failing returns and not so stellar critics reviews, RTE has been forced to take drastic measures to try and right their sinking ship. “We just can’t compete,” Dee Forbes, Director General of the state broadcaster told the Express, “People just want to binge watch Netflix all day. My son just told me…
Sean is great craic. Always up for the sesh, no matter what. He lives on College Road and is the life of the party, but recently he’s been acting a bit strange. This article will help you decide if he’s just having a laugh, or if his body is a conduit for Satan. Speaking in…
There was widespread shock and revulsion in the Vegan community of Ireland as recent tests found Human DNA in “Pompous Pear” ready meals. The affected meals were recalled quickly but the damage was done; Vegans all over Ireland had ingested human flesh. “We really have no idea how this happened,” A spokesperson for the company…
There was widespread shock in the scientific community of Ireland today as the creature was discovered. The cryptid, long thought to be a myth, was found living in the sink of apartment 63 of Victoria Lodge. It appears the poisonous atmosphere of the sink was the perfect breeding ground for such a monster. Brenda Courtney,…
A comprehensive list of this years scariest, and sexiest costumes. Sexy Michael D → This one is self-explanatory. What a beast. A Brexit → A white vest, bald cap and a union jack. Finish of with a warm can of Stella for authenticity. Rejected Susi Letter → The scariest thing any student can think of. Global warming → A…
A study published yesterday from UCC has revealed the health benefits of Vaping versus smoking. The study, sponsored by Sickcool Vapez ltd, was conclusive in its findings, not only is Vaping better than smoking, it’s actually better than fresh air. Ian Horrigan, a PhD student responsible for the study explained the results, in between bouts…
[DISCLAIMER]- This interview is not verbatim as Hurley mumbled quite a lot. Lil Hurley, formerly known as Lil Boi, Mc Langer or just Simon Jones, is Cork’s hottest new rapper. In a bid to stay relevant and hip wiv da kidz, The University Express sent me to see what this Soundcloud sensation is all about….