First Year Arts student and all round ‘gas cunt’ Sorcha McNally is set to become this year’s winner for Biggest Legend due to her astounding commitment to wearing her festival wristband past the point of being socially acceptable. In an exclusive interview with the Express, McNally revealed that she plans to keep her now mildly…
Met Éireann have issued a warning that UCC and its surrounding area are in for another year-long downpour of terrible, terrible jokes. This news comes as a result of the return of last year’s Humour editor, who will remain anonymous, except for where her name is printed in big, fuck-off letters at the top of…
Tanya Kearney strides into the lobby of The Shelbourne Hotel, clearly alight with all the confidence and prestige that becoming an almost overnight op-ed sensation brings. She greets me, and immediately I witness the quick, impulsive opinion-offering on which she has built her wildly successful career. “Opinion: lose the coat,” she tells me. I thank…
Censorship is a tricky subject. For some, censorship serves as an important tool in preventing dangerous ideas from reaching the impressionable or those who have the power to put them to use. For others, the banning of books is equivalent to burning them. Some would say that book in itself could be an indication of…
Two Mountjoy prisoners have made history as winners of the Amnesty International/SVP Jailbreak 2017. The winners, John Fitzpatrick (27, convicted of fraud in 2012) and Tom McDermott (29, convicted of armed robbery in 2014), say that they are “over the moon” with their victory. The two managed to reach Location X, which was revealed to…
Buddhist monks in Sri Lanka have allegedly confirmed Buckfast Tonic Wine to play a key role in reaching Nirvana. This was reported by the Dalai Lama, who said that a group of monks in the Na Uyana Aranya monastery had been experimenting with some imported Buckfast and recently found its properties and ingredients to be…
It’s a scientifically proven fact that generally, girls are more attracted to people with dogs. Owning a dog says a lot of about you, your personality, and your potential as a romantic partner. Being a dog owner gives a girl every indication that you’re friendly, responsible and even mildly athletic, if you take into account…
What’s in a name? Well, if you’re asking J.K. Rowling or Charlotte Bronte, a name can mean anonymity, creative freedom and a fresh start. Female authors have long used male or gender-neutral pseudonyms when releasing their work into the public sphere, and though it was typically used predominantly to escape female stereotyping, it is a…
Long-known to be the coldest, most self-obsessed species of the animal kingdom, it came as no surprise to anyone this week that Donald Trump has been confirmed to be a cat. Vice President Pence and many of the Trump administration have now openly admitted to knowing that the newly-elected president of the United States was,…
Some days (or, these days, most of the time) it can feel like our world is without hope. Rampant governmental corruption, tyrannical leaders, the ever-encroaching threat of climate change and that unshakeable feeling that smartphones today are getting a bit too smart… it’s a tough time for us all. When drugs are illegal, alcohol’s a…